So, I found this Cosmopolitan’s article, titled What Being A Fat Woman is Really Like. here, though I realize I still have “this privilege” (shopping at regular-sized store, never had to pay extra cash at public transportation, always fit in the desk), but I had been made fun of being fat, and had my parents berating me about it, and really hate myself for being fat. I was inspired by ArchedEyebow take, thus I made one myself.
How do you feel when other women around you complain about feeling/being fat?
That’s a shitty feeling at best and it could’ve meant that they’re unconsciously or consciously make themselves feel better about themselves by using you at worst.
How has your body image changed since high school? College?
On high school, I literally hate my body. I dieted desperately just to gained some more weight, hit 70 kgs at my heaviest and promise myself to not rewarding myself any nice things before I lose any weight. I spend most of the times stressing myself for it. College is about the same, but fortunately, I found a turning point, about on 2011, I found body-positive community on internet/
Have you tried dieting? What happened?
Like, hundred times, I guess. The last time was on 2011 and I lost 13 kilos (I gained 1 kilos through 3 years). It was exhausting and I kind of stopped.
Do you think in your case your weight is partly or entirely genetic?
Honestly, that one I don’t know and rather don’t want to think about it, my mother and my brother are fat as well, while my dad’s pretty average for a man his age.
Do you consider yourself healthy? Have there been instances where people assumed you were unhealthy?
I don’t know… I don’t smoke, I drink alcohol and coffee but on considerably small amount compared to my peers, but I also don’t exercise much and though I’m not quite big eater, I love fancy foods.
Are your parents both supportive of you at the weight you’re at? Have they always been?
Hell fucking no. My dad literally thought me and my brother being fat is the failure of the way my parents raising us. And on both my heaviest and lowest weight, almost on daily basis my mom told me “you would be really beautiful if you lose some weight. Men love skinny women”.
How do you think retailers can improve clothes for plus-size people?
More work and less bullshitting? Stop spreading the “fat is unhealthy thus fat people need to be punished by not having nice things” propaganda, because that’s one factor of anti-fat phenomenon.
Do you think plus-size women are judged differently than plus-sized men are? How?
Basically… It’s okay for men to talk about women’s appearances as if we’re object. Here’s how it work: a fat man said he don’t want to date fat woman, and it’s reasonable. Fat women said she don’t want to date fat men. All hell break loose.
Do you think there’s an assumption made/stereotype that exists about plus-size people? How would you respond to it?
Oh Dear, don’t get me started. Lazy, lack self-control, unhealthy, ugly, disgusting, less than human, it’s all over! I tend to spoil myself with positivity because it’s the best I can do.
Do you think there’s ever a right way or time to express concern about someone’s weight?
1. Does said person’s health are in trouble SOLELY because of their weight? 2. Does said person BOTHERED about their weight themselves? 3. How CLOSE you are to said person?
What are the worst things people have said to you about your body?
Well… a lot. I’m the kind of person who tend to repress bad memories, and right now, I can’t think much, but there was one time when I met her about 2 months after I got out of hospital due to dengue fever (when I’m all well and back on my feet) and the first thing she said was “You just got out of the hospital, why don’t you get thinner?). She said it on public and to be honest that still pained me.
How did you respond?
I just laugh, because at that time, I still internalized the fat-shaming myself and I want to be polite.
What have people said (or do you wish they’d say) that would compliment your body or appearance?
Fortunately, I have friends (men and women and every other) that often complimenting how good-looking I am, and they adore my hair, eyebrow (though sometimes I dislike it myself, lol), even boobs and ass (don’t get it wrong, they said it in non-dehumanizing way possible). I think it just nice. Before 20, I never really got called beautiful.
Do you find yourself hanging out with women who are closer to your size?
My college best friends are fatties, but outside of that, most of my friends are pretty thin.
How has your weight affected your sex life, if at all?
I’m a virgin. lol
When you’ve been single, has your weight affected your dating life?
I don’t know… I’ve been single for what…. more than 6 years? The last time I had a relationship close to a dating, it was ended about one year ago, and he doesn’t think I’m fat (and I myself still don’t understand up until now). Some person does attracted to me anyway. The thing is…. Fat person, specifically fat girls can’t have their expectation as high as thin girls. And that makes me hold back every time I met a potential partner.
Do you feel weird if the guy you’re with only dates larger women?
It depends on how they treat me, though.
Do you feel weird if he’s only dated slimmer women before you?
Yes, it was like: why me? What makes me different?